


Beware the Bard

by TheRatsAreListening



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: M/M, i had the dialogue in mind for a while so here it is, i wrote this for Me so don't be mean, it's only here in case anyone else can enjoy it, jaskier uses a period-appropriate misogynistic way to refer to sex-workers you have been warned, just a silly thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:14:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22629994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRatsAreListening/pseuds/TheRatsAreListening
Summary: Geralt, like any person, has needs. Fortunately, people exist who will happily provide that sort of service for a price.Jaskier has Opinions about this
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 4
Kudos: 68





	Beware the Bard

**Author's Note:**

> I may or may not write other tiny nonsense in the same continuity as this.  
> Do not hold your breath.

"It's interesting," Jaskier hums one night, as Geralt has just come back to the inn late and they both know exactly where he's been. They're in the hallway, between their respective rooms. When he'd first thought about doing this, Jaskier had intended to wait _inside_ of the witcher's one, for added effect, but it appeared he had overestimated both his lock-picking skill and his ability to talk the innkeep into giving him the spare key. So he'd intercepted Geralt at the top of the stairs instead. 

Geralt does not ask what is interesting. This is expected, but disappointing nonetheless. 

"You always mock me for my impractical choices," Jaskier presses on. "But I've lost count of how many you've made." 

"Bringing you along was not my choice." 

"That's hurtful," he says, but his tone doesn't match the words. "No. what I meant is you spend so much coin on whores when you could get that issue taken care of for free." 

"When someone offers, I do," comes the answer, and Jaskier shudders as he remembers the Mayor's house. He can swear Geralt did that one on purpose. "But these women are working. So I pay them. And I'm not going to resort to your approach, people hate me as it is."

Jaskier takes a second to feign offense at the notion that it's his behaviour which prompts people to be hostile, rather than their _obvious_ prejudice against very talented artists who are great lovers and don't care a fig for taboos and pointless rules. 

"Not what I was suggesting."

Geralt is silent for a moment, and Jaskier almost thinks he’s going to need it spelled out. But then: "You're a bard." 

" _And?!_ " This time, the offense is not feigned. 

"You'd write about it."

Jaskier leans against the narrow strip of wall between their doors so it can support him as he laughs. "So what, are you afraid of having a performance review preserved in song, as in amber, for the rest of time?" 

"Nobody would remember it for that long." 

Jaskier points a long index finger at the Witcher, in a swishy sort of motion, as if to say _this is where you're wrong_. "If you're terrible at it, they _will_!" 

"I know what I said." 

Jaskier's eyes widen. He's positively _vibrating_ with energy. This is the _most_ interesting conversation he has _ever_ had. And then it ends. Because of course it does. This is Geralt, after all, and he's taken out his key, and he's unlocking his door, and it's like they weren't _just now_ in the middle of something.

"Where are you going? I'm not done with you." 

Geralt turns his head and the intensity of his gaze reduces Jaskier's bones to something with the structural integrity of sponge cake. 

"Neither am I."


End file.
